Friday, December 7, 2007

Show me the money!

Well, today was the big day. I did it. Before long, I may be writing to you from the private island that I will have bought using my lottery winnings. I have never done this before, buying a lottery ticket. I remember that once in an office party, a coworker brought one for a Yankee swap. Even then, amidst all the useless gifts, I didn’t feel adventurous enough to try to get the lottery ticket or hold on to it.

The cookie said though, repeatedly, that I had some lucky numbers. Not really having been too successful (so far) with deciphering my running sentence code, I didn’t think number decoding would go any better.

Not being a superstitious person, numerology was out of the question. I love that math makes sense and that things can be proven, so the idea that one could try to garner life meaning from numbers based on our birth dates is just dumb. As I was saying, the fortune cookie, which has guided my life into a state of calm introspection and healthy mental attitude, basically begged me to play the lottery.

I went into a convenience store today and instantly felt inadequate. There was a huge display of rolls of some sort with shiny decals and illustrations and things one can scratch off with the edge of a coin. The nice man behind the counter looks up after I say “excuse me.”

“Yes.” He barely looks at me.

“I would like to buy some lottery tickets,” I answer proudly.

“Which ones?” He starts going towards the display.

“The ones that will let me pick out my own numbers.” I tell him, even more proud of my confident stance.

“For which game?” He stares and waits.

I panicked. “Which are the games?” I ask acting like I knew but wanted to quizz him.
He rattles a bunch of them off. I still don’t know what the heck to do. Whatever the ones he told me last are the ones that I blurt out.

“How many?” Not another question! Please cookie, give me the strength to go through this, please!

Was there an etiquette thing about buying lottery tickets that I didn’t know? Was there a pre-pack deal with a coupon? Or do they come in sets? Did I have to upload the numbers myself from home? Did I need to punch some buttons now? I was starting to calm down and go into my happy place when a guy next to me kept clearing his throat. I thought it was meant for me to move it along but then I quickly realized it must have been a 40 year old smoking habit. I could have sworn I was standing next to an ashtray.

No matter though, because ashtray man had something I didn’t. He had Lottery power and I knew this because he was holding a scratched lottery ticket in his hand. He had come to cash that baby in. I guess I had been standing there thinking for a long time. I am sure the security cameras will back that up. The ashtray lottery expert man was clearing his throat again, this time impatiently so I went for a smart strategy. If I asked him how much they were, then whatever form the tickets came in, I could decide right there and then what I was going to get based on how much I wanted to spend.

“A dollar.” He answered rolling his eyes.

“Then I will take five!” I answered chipper and happy.

Cookie, this is when I noticed your power. I looked around my pockets and I got a wad of my fortunes out and handed them to him. He looked so emotionless he was obviously in a state of transcendent meditative state. He asked me if this was Chinese food things that I was handing him, because I know he couldn’t possibly believe that such wisdom could solely be attached to a pu-pu platter.

I should tell you, cookie, you need to work on your power strength more because the guy behind me was so taken with your grace and counsel. Whenever the nice enlightened clerk punched each of the numbers on the machine he messed up, he was so nervous. He was trembling with holding your wisdom within his fingers. In the end it all worked out. I am too emotional to understand what I bought or even if I won. In the end, if you meant for me to be a filthy rich woman, I will be one, no matter what.

I wish I knew what the word for `loaded’ was in Chinese.

Thursday, December 6, 2007

Lucky you made this choice. Everything comes out for the best.

What a reassuring sentiment cookie except that I have no idea what you are referring to. We are about to hire a new baby sitter and she seemed wonderful to me. A bit too chatty which might drive me wild but wonderful nonetheless. She has about ten references which I am in the middle of checking. So far all I have are voice mail messages back and forth. I am pretty certain we are going to hire her so I am wondering if the cookie has already approved of our choice. We shall see. I also decided that I would buy some pre-made rotisserie chicken tonight because I was running late for cooking dinner. That was a good choice. I didn’t stop there. Instead of just steaming the green beans, I actually cooked them longer and wow! what a difference. That really worked out for the best.

The Chinese word I learned is Good Friend. That is also a good word to know.

Wednesday, December 5, 2007

Clear your mental, emotional and psychic space and you’ll see.

Oh Geez! I think I am getting close to discovering the meaning of my life! Thanks oh wise cookie! Something is clearly at work and I am on the brink of discovery. I just need to find a way to zone out into some clear thinking space. I know! After I do the laundry I will mediate slowly feeling the breath come in and out of my..

No wait! I have to leave the laundry in the dryer because I have that parent teacher conference to go to and right after that I need to meet the plumber at the house. But after that, after that I will be able to spend some quality time getting familiar with clearing my mind. Oh-oh. I can’t. I promised my daughter I would spend some quality mother daughter time with her to find the perfect gift for her sisters. Then it is dinner time and then kitchen cleaning and then I put the little one to bed and then I check in with my husband and tuck the other kids to bed.

Now.... now I can get to visualize the spare space in my brain. In the darkness of my room with the pillow softly cradling my head, embracing my neck and shoulders in a familiar warmth. Now I can focus on opening my thought passages. Now I can work to see what is...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

My word was: Very comfortable. Indeed!

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

A chance meeting by someone from your past is in store.

Oooh! A mysterious fortune. When I was younger and might have thought I let an old boyfriend get away without too much of a fight, this fortune would have worked. Now it is almost creepy to me. It sounds positive and all but I want more information.
I get the past thing, recent or distant it is still past. I also get chance, that is grocery store or parking lot or post office. What I don’t get is what would the purpose be. If the cookie is going out its way to portend the meeting why not tell me why it is supposed to happen?

Perhaps the meeting itself will reveal the outcome or reason. The thing about people in my past is that there is wide variety of them. Some very good. I have always made a habit of paying off my debts (whenever I had them, which wasn’t often because I hate being indebted). As far as I know, there is no one who will take pleasure from breaking my knee caps or cleaning my clock. Good. I got to tell you though, there are also some crazies I have known. Some crazy as in eccentric, but others crazy as in you shouldn’t be talking to me and here’s a restraining order crazy. I would love to have a chance encounter with so many people from my past. Instead of waiting for it to happen I might just spend some time reminiscing and even making sure that I get the chance to encounter more people in my past.

OK. Kind of an oddball fortune today. The Chinese word for me today is Baseball. I can’t use that for much.

Hopeful joke around. Don’t matter! Boyfriend very busy. Thank you, no he good weather. Don’t. What time is it now? Going or not? baseball

I think I am really close here. I will keep working on this except that I need to dig into my Stew Leonard’s batch now.

Monday, December 3, 2007

You are ready to take on the world

Again, I love this line of cookie reasoning. It is straightforward with a positive aphorism. I see the message’s good attitude just rubbing off on anyone. Taking on the world can seem like such a huge thing at times. Just waking up in the morning takes on the meaning of dread. The repetitive whirlwind of life keeps happening and one can only take dramamine and go for the ride. But with this fortune, well, I feel positively optimistic.

Actually, I feel kind of brave. I have a faint sense of fight in me that I can feel creeping up ever so slightly and I am getting psyched here. What should I put this knowledge to work on? To what cause?

Do you ever recall what it actually feels like to take on the world? That hopeful energetic optimism. Sometimes it comes by the way of a huge reassuring thing the worst thing you might have expected happened, didn’t. That one thing or person you wanted the most in your life is there, will be there or came back? That great amount of work you put into something pays off and perhaps someone told you how amazing the work you did was. It is those kinds of things that make a huge difference when life gets a bit tough. Your armor is high and your speed is faster and you are cautious in a way that is smart and not scary.

So as of today I have no special cause to contribute my new found wisdom to. I will just be happy with remembering what the feeling is like so that I can tap into it more often.

Here is my word today: Going or not? Isn’t that great? I love that one. It is so Are you with me or not? It reminds me of that other saying that involves getting off a pot. Going or not? Indeed I will be going to take on the world more often.

Sunday, December 2, 2007

You can learn much from wise words and less from wise guys.

For Sure! The cookie has so spoken, because that is what fortune cookies are: wise words.

I need to think about this carefully today because when I think of a wise guy they usually strike a funny bone with me. The sharp wit of sarcasm is never lost on me. I get the dry sense of humor. I do however hate the idea of clowns and I don’t mean the ones in the circus, who actually scare people. I mean people who are wiseguys for the sake of being wiseguys.

My oldest daughter doesn’t mean to be a wiseguy. She just is. But it is in the wisdom of her accumulated ten years of life that I find solace. I will share some of her wise words with you.

When I urged her once to stop dancing around because she was annoying me, she said:

“ Sometimes you just have to shake your boom-boom”

She also told me once that I was annoying her brain.

Some of her greatest wisdom comes from the words she’s made up.

Accumulancy - We have no idea what it means but it sounds serious and economics academically related

Deiceinator - What one should put on the walkway to melt the ice so she doesn’t fall and hurt their rear-end, like she did, on the way to school.

Indignorant - Where do I start? She said she thought we were being indignorant.

Peeper-Tom - sounds so much better than peeping tom. It almost makes the word sound like a leaf watching hobby, not deviant behavior.

A most useful phrase today as part of my Chinese instruction: What time is it now?
I think this is a major part of the encrypted secret message contained within the cookies.

Saturday, December 1, 2007

You will have good luck in your personal affairs.

I am starting to regain a bit more of my faith in the cookie. This message is direct and not cryptic. See what happens when you open a fresh box of La Choy fortune cookies?

I am feeling a bit giddy at the prospect of what my luck might entail. If it is personal affairs might one consider putting our child to bed easily? Or even finding a good parking space and not waiting in line too long at Starbucks?

I am going to keep this fortune for use tomorrow. I am not sure if that is within the rules of ethical cookie belief guidelines, but it will have to do. Tomorrow our child will be seeing her possible pre-school for the first time. This little visit is for us (the parents) to assess the environment in thirty minutes.

In reality, I bet it is a scrutiny fest to see if we are fit parents and have an IQ larger than an onion. In thirty minutes our child could put a box over her head and try to walk around without bumping into things. Up to now, this is one of her most well-honed skills. She mastered it by walking with her eyes closed. Our child also jumps into any new situation or recovering an object with a very loud; “Ta-da!” while doing a wide plie martial arts move. I am hoping of course, that if she does this they will find it so charming in her possible new school, that a spot will be available instantly. If luck goes our way, which the cookie is implying, our daughter will put her hands behind her back to observe the place with an interested and detached expression. Her face will say, take it or leave it. She will play hard to get and then for sure we will get it. Thanks for the hope, cookie! You’re swell.

Here is the word I learned in Chinese: Don’t. Two characters, I wonder if it is significant in the greater puzzle.

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